Want to read some great quotes about coffee? Whether you’re looking for inspiration or something funny to read with your morning coffee, this list should have you covered. You may think you’ve heard them all, but trust us, you’ll want to read these coffee quotes.
Inspirational coffee quotes, funny coffee quotes, cute coffee quotes, morning coffee quotes: we have them all! Scroll down to find your new favorite coffee quote.
Top 22 Funny Coffee Quotes
Why not take a moment to chuckle over your favorite beverage? Here are the funniest coffee jokes and quotes:
Coffee, unless it is very good and made by somebody else, is pretty intolerable at any time.Iris Murdoch
Coffee, unless it is very good and made by somebody else, is pretty intolerable at any time.Iris Murdoch
What goes best with a cup of coffee? Another cup.Henry Rollins
What goes best with a cup of coffee? Another cup.Henry Rollins
If it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.David Letterman
If it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.David Letterman
I like coffee exceedingly…H.P. Lovecraft
I like coffee exceedingly…H.P. Lovecraft
Decaffeinated coffee is like a hairless cat: it exists, but that doesn’t make it right.Anonymous
Decaffeinated coffee is like a hairless cat: it exists, but that doesn’t make it right.Anonymous
I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.Ronald Reagan
I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.Ronald Reagan
Never steal a man’s coffee.Anthony T. Hincks
Never steal a man’s coffee.Anthony T. Hincks
I like instant gratification. It’s like instant coffee, only it won’t keep you up at night.Jarod Kintz
I like instant gratification. It’s like instant coffee, only it won’t keep you up at night.Jarod Kintz
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.Alfred Renyi
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.Alfred Renyi
Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.Earl Wilson
Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.Earl Wilson
Friends bring happiness into your life. Best friends bring coffee.Anonymous
Friends bring happiness into your life. Best friends bring coffee.Anonymous
Coffee first. Schemes later.Leanna Renee Hieber
Coffee first. Schemes later.Leanna Renee Hieber
Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all.David Lynch
Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all.David Lynch
Why, yes, I could start my day without coffee. But I like being able to remember things like how to say words and put on pants.Nanea Hoffman
Why, yes, I could start my day without coffee. But I like being able to remember things like how to say words and put on pants.Nanea Hoffman
Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second.Edward Abbey
Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second.Edward Abbey
To me, the smell of fresh-made coffee is one of the greatest inventions.Hugh Jackman
To me, the smell of fresh-made coffee is one of the greatest inventions.Hugh Jackman
It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.Dave Barry
It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.Dave Barry
People don’t seem as annoying when I’ve got coffee.Tommy Cotton
People don’t seem as annoying when I’ve got coffee.Tommy Cotton
Without my morning coffee, I’m just like a dried-up piece of goat.Johann Sebastian Bach
Without my morning coffee, I’m just like a dried-up piece of goat.Johann Sebastian Bach
Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.Anonymous
Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.Anonymous
Coffee in England is just toasted milk.Christopher Fry
Coffee in England is just toasted milk.Christopher Fry
Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.Bill Cosby
Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.Bill Cosby
Top 4 Morning Coffee Quotes
There’s nothing like a hot cup of coffee in the morning, and these hilarious lines will help you start your day with coffee quotes:
Coffee is the best thing to douse the sunrise with.Terri Guillemets
Coffee is the best thing to douse the sunrise with.Terri Guillemets
I sometimes get excited at night thinking of the coffee I’ll get to drink in the morning. Coffee is reason to wake up. There are other reasons, of course. But coffee is the incentive, at the very least.Annie Clark
I sometimes get excited at night thinking of the coffee I’ll get to drink in the morning. Coffee is reason to wake up. There are other reasons, of course. But coffee is the incentive, at the very least.Annie Clark
I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee.Terri Guillemets
I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee.Terri Guillemets
I just realized: I’m not a morning person. I’m a coffee person.Anonymous
I just realized: I’m not a morning person. I’m a coffee person.Anonymous
Top 6 Cute Coffee Quotes
Looking for quotes that are coffee-themedand cute? We’ve got you covered:
Coffee is a kind of magic you can drink.Catherynne M. Valente
Coffee is a kind of magic you can drink.Catherynne M. Valente
I’d rather take coffee than compliments just now.Louisa May Alcott
I’d rather take coffee than compliments just now.Louisa May Alcott
Adventure in life is good; consistency in coffee even better.Justina Chen Headley
Adventure in life is good; consistency in coffee even better.Justina Chen Headley
I like my coffee with cream and my literature with optimism.Abigail Reynolds
I like my coffee with cream and my literature with optimism.Abigail Reynolds
It’s when you look over the top of your coffee cup that you can smile at life.Anthony T. Hincks
It’s when you look over the top of your coffee cup that you can smile at life.Anthony T. Hincks
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.T.S. Eliot
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.T.S. Eliot
Top 8 Inspirational Coffee Quotes
Are you in need of a little inspiration? Keep reading to find the most encouraging coffee quotes:
The powers of a man’s mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee he drinks.Sir James Mackintosh
The powers of a man’s mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee he drinks.Sir James Mackintosh
Life is like coffee, the darker it gets, the more it energizes.Ankita Singhal
Life is like coffee, the darker it gets, the more it energizes.Ankita Singhal
Never underestimate the power of a good cup of coffee.Ursula Vernon
Never underestimate the power of a good cup of coffee.Ursula Vernon
It doesn’t matter where you’re from – or how you feel… There’s always peace in a strong cup of coffee.Gabriel Bá
It doesn’t matter where you’re from – or how you feel… There’s always peace in a strong cup of coffee.Gabriel Bá
It’s amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee.Donna Favors
It’s amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee.Donna Favors
Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.Terry Pratchett
Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.Terry Pratchett
Coffee, the favorite drink of the civilized world.Thomas Jefferson
Coffee, the favorite drink of the civilized world.Thomas Jefferson
Conclusion
We hope you enjoyed this roundup of the 40 best coffee quotes. There is no better way to start your morning, brighten your afternoon, or relax after a long day! No matter what your preferred brewing method or coffee flavor is, we know you can relate to these funny and inspirational coffee-isms.
We enjoyed gathering these funny and inspirational coffee memes. Coffee is an amazing drink! If you’re looking for more Java-themed fun, why not read one of our other roundups?
- 60+ Hilarious Coffee Memes You Have to See
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- Top 10 Coffee Instagram Accounts You Have to Follow
- 18 Must-Read Blogs for Coffee Enthusiasts
Table of Contents
- Top 22 Funny Coffee Quotes
- Coffee, unless it is very good and made by somebody else, is pretty intolerable at any time.Iris Murdoch
- What goes best with a cup of coffee? Another cup.Henry Rollins
- If it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.David Letterman
- I like coffee exceedingly…H.P. Lovecraft
- Decaffeinated coffee is like a hairless cat: it exists, but that doesn’t make it right.Anonymous
- I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.Ronald Reagan
- Never steal a man’s coffee.Anthony T. Hincks
- I like instant gratification. It’s like instant coffee, only it won’t keep you up at night.Jarod Kintz
- A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.Alfred Renyi
- Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.Earl Wilson
- Friends bring happiness into your life. Best friends bring coffee.Anonymous
- Coffee first. Schemes later.Leanna Renee Hieber
- Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all.David Lynch
- Why, yes, I could start my day without coffee. But I like being able to remember things like how to say words and put on pants.Nanea Hoffman
- Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second.Edward Abbey
- To me, the smell of fresh-made coffee is one of the greatest inventions.Hugh Jackman
- It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.Dave Barry
- People don’t seem as annoying when I’ve got coffee.Tommy Cotton
- Without my morning coffee, I’m just like a dried-up piece of goat.Johann Sebastian Bach
- Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.Anonymous
- Coffee in England is just toasted milk.Christopher Fry
- Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.Bill Cosby
- Top 4 Morning Coffee Quotes
- Coffee is the best thing to douse the sunrise with.Terri Guillemets
- I sometimes get excited at night thinking of the coffee I’ll get to drink in the morning. Coffee is reason to wake up. There are other reasons, of course. But coffee is the incentive, at the very least.Annie Clark
- I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee.Terri Guillemets
- I just realized: I’m not a morning person. I’m a coffee person.Anonymous
- Top 6 Cute Coffee Quotes
- Coffee is a kind of magic you can drink.Catherynne M. Valente
- I’d rather take coffee than compliments just now.Louisa May Alcott
- Adventure in life is good; consistency in coffee even better.Justina Chen Headley
- I like my coffee with cream and my literature with optimism.Abigail Reynolds
- It’s when you look over the top of your coffee cup that you can smile at life.Anthony T. Hincks
- I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.T.S. Eliot
- Top 8 Inspirational Coffee Quotes
- The powers of a man’s mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee he drinks.Sir James Mackintosh
- Life is like coffee, the darker it gets, the more it energizes.Ankita Singhal
- Never underestimate the power of a good cup of coffee.Ursula Vernon
- It doesn’t matter where you’re from – or how you feel… There’s always peace in a strong cup of coffee.Gabriel Bá
- It’s amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee.Donna Favors
- Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.Anne Morrow Lindbergh
- Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.Terry Pratchett
- Coffee, the favorite drink of the civilized world.Thomas Jefferson
- Conclusion
