Many high schools give graduating seniors the opportunity to choose a quote to have printed underneath their picture in the yearbook. My school didn’t when I was a senior, and I understand why. You are asking teenagers who are about to graduate to find some inner wisdom and maturity at a moment’s notice. If you’ve ever spent any time around 17-year-olds, you would know that this cannot possibly go well. I’m assuming that no one edits the quotes for appropriateness or stupidity because some real gems slide through. The following is a mere sprinkling of some of the best (worst) yearbook quotes that were actually printed.
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“Being a single mom is hard, especially when you are a teenage boy with no kids.” “One time I ate a bagel.” “Roses are red; violets are blue; I’m black.” “Not pregnant, just eatin’ good.” “Makeup looks pretty on the outside but doesn’t help if you’re ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the makeup.” “In this photo, I’m not wearing pants.” “I like to eat candy.” “Mary had a little lamb and the doctor fainted.” “If your loved one has been diagnosed with mesothelioma you are entitled to a cash compensation.” “What if we spelled people like this- peepole. That would be funny, I think.” “What if one day you woke up and you were a chicken nugget?” “Sometimes I like to cover myself in vaseline and pretend I’m a slug.” “Sometimes when my neighbor is gone, I roll around in the garden and pretend I’m a carrot.”
Completely Inappropriate Quotes… like… who signed off on these?
“Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning.” “My A’s turned to B’s, and so did my grades.” “That’s what” –She “All of our parents had sex the same year, so that’s awesome!” “I’ve never done cocaine, but it smells good!” “18 holes in one day, and I still find time for golf.” “I’m fat because I don’t chase these hoes.” “I will miss the friends I have made and the memories I share with the teachers I have boned with over the years.” “You went to high school; I went to school high.” “I’m going to end up in jail or working at the Olive Garden. Either way, endless salads will be tossed.” “When life gets hard you have to grasp it. When it comes, you have to take it on the chin. There’s no such thing as getting off easy.” “In the future, I would like to find an old man, wait for him to die, and take all his money.” “My mom should have swallowed me.”
Simple Truths You Have to Appreciate
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy Taco Bell, so that’s pretty much the same thing.”
“Don’t drink the bong water.”
“When my eyes are closed, I can’t see.”
“Shoot for the moon; if you miss you will die in space, which is cool.”
“Life is like a rollercoaster. Just when you think you’re on top, you go flying back down and someone pukes on you.”
“If you’re gonna be late you might as well go grab some breakfast and make it worth it.”
“That wasn’t like High School Musical at all.”
“If somebody ever asks you to do something, do it really bad so you never have to do it again.”
“The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap.”
“Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?”
Bathroom Humor
“Never hold your farts in because they travel up your spine and into your brain and that’s where crappy ideas come from.”
“You’re laughing because I’m laughing, but I’m laughing because I farted.”
“Sometimes when I’m taking a bath I like to turn off the lights and pretend I’m in the womb.”
Classic Zingers
“At school I learned to right good!”
“I had to put my grades up for adoption because I couldn’t raise them.”
“Remember to always be yourself, unless you suck. Then pretend to be someone else.”
“When life shuts a door, open it back up. That’s how doors work!”
“When life gives you lemons, use the seeds to make more lemons and make bank on your citrus empire.”
“I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.”
“I was the Beyonce in a school full of Michelles.”
“I like to listen to ‘the Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round’ when I’m driving because I can relate to it.”
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Introduction: My name is Eusebia Nader, I am a encouraging, brainy, lively, nice, famous, healthy, clever person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.
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