Living alone gets a bad rap: There’s nothing more freeing than being able to waltz around your home, wearing whatever you want, eating whatever you want and blasting whatever you want on your playlist.
Of course, there’s some drawbacks, too: We wouldn’t wish getting the flu while living alone on anyone. (Thanks, food delivery apps, for making that part a little more bearable!)
Below, we’ve rounded up 29 funny tweets that capture all the highs and lows (“Can someone get me a roll of toilet paper? Oh, right...”) of living by yourself.
Advertisem*nt
Any movie where a woman living alone nibbles a snack as opposed to shoveling it into her mouth by the fistful is fake and wrong.
— Ari Scott (@ariscott) August 9, 2012
Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle & explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.
— Doth (@DothTheDoth) September 16, 2023
living alone is cool until you choke on some cake and realize no one would find your dead body until days later with the fork you were using to shovel red velvet cake right from the pan still in your hand
— sel (@sel_justsel) December 1, 2023
Advertisem*nt
Just cooking chicken nuggets and doing my Ray Romano impression over and over, you? #livingalone
— Michael Donaghy (@michaeldonaghy) October 8, 2015
Being single is cool bc you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss
— Shira (@shiraselko) October 3, 2013
When you’re busy living alone and then someone knocks on your door pic.twitter.com/uUFTAJdv8J
— RaMaverick 💯% (@RamzZy_) July 27, 2023
Advertisem*nt
I love ruining my mental state by constantly watching serial killer documentaries as a single woman living alone in her 20’s. Really adds the right amount of ~spice~ to my life.
— Tina Colón (@tinacolon_) January 28, 2021
the only downside to living alone is when im soooo cozy and something i need is far away i actually have to get up and go get it
— nesrin danan (@blackprints) November 26, 2023
Living by myself in a nutshell pic.twitter.com/ZhjZDlZ8Zx
— NCH (@NCHproductions) August 28, 2023
Advertisem*nt
If something terrible were to happen to me. I'd like to think whoever found me would say "he had some really good tabs open." #livingalone
— Luke Johnson (@lukejohnsonpoet) December 15, 2014
Living alone is kinda lit. My bra is on the kitchen table. There are snacks in my bathroom cabinet. I sit naked on my recliner. I live in organized anarchy
— m. patty mayonnaise (@highermaia) August 1, 2018
single gay men who live alone love getting the tiniest and saddest looking christmas tree and kill it before 12/15....
— Nike PS5 (@NikePS5) November 30, 2023
Advertisem*nt
so if i spend my time eating cheese, watching Netflix, n having org*sms alone, i'm 'depressed', but if someone else is there i'm 'in love' ?
— Babs Gray (@BabsGray) March 28, 2014
One of the upsides of living alone is that you can own 27 different types of rice and no one questions your sanity
— superastrofemme (@superastrofemme) November 29, 2023
My biggest fear about living alone is that a crazed gunman might break in while I'm in the shower and laugh at my penis.
— Joshua Beck (@joshuabeck) December 21, 2012
Advertisem*nt
Living alone, I spend the day after I shave my head worried I'm walking around with an undetected tuft of hair left on the back of my head.
— James Schnable (@szintri) November 29, 2023
goodbye josh https://t.co/iktzggBzZx
— tugskin (@tugskin) November 25, 2023
— Sav R. Miller (@authorsav) March 5, 2023Perks of living alone: you can eat an entire cheeseball by yourself
Cons of living alone: you eat the entire cheeseball yourself and are now paying the consequences
Advertisem*nt
when men threaten women with “you’re going to end up living alone with a bunch of cats” have any of them considered how f*cking awesome that is pic.twitter.com/wILVGUO6wD
— youngmi mayer (@ymmayer) November 25, 2023
living alone is crazy bc I’ll realize I haven’t said not one word in 5 hours
— r. (@xxoorita) May 15, 2021
living alone has pretty much made me a serial killer and I’m NOT SORRY pic.twitter.com/uX0fIeUsJa
— Ray Mant (@RayMant_) January 11, 2021
Advertisem*nt
Living alone comes with special perks, like the freedom to scratch your back against the arm of your couch while you're completely nude.
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) October 10, 2011
living alone is nice and peaceful until you have to decide what you’re gonna cook EVERY SINGLE DAY OF YOUR LIFE
— val (@vaIinety) November 29, 2023
As l've gotten older, it has become clear to me why the grinch wanted to live alone with his dog.
— Christine Obert (@cdpsolutions1) November 28, 2023
Advertisem*nt
living alone just means i eat standing up way more now
— hootie (@hootietheeowl) December 1, 2023
living alone has improved my mental health 3000% however it also seems to have made me absolutely insane
— dirt prince (@violinbee01) May 29, 2022
the point of living alone when you no longer slice cheese and just nibble on the brick like the rat you are
— one love asshole (@oneloveasshole) November 24, 2023
Advertisem*nt
There’s a co*ckroach in my house and I live by myself so in conclusion I’m passing away and you guys are never going to see me ever again. This is my last tweet goodbye forever
— jojosolos (@jojosolos) June 30, 2022
— Maggie Sage Hunter Wainerdi (@swaggie_hunter) July 23, 2018Who are we?
SINGLE YOUNG PROFESSIONALS
What do we want?
FOR PERISHABLE GROCERIES TO BE SOLD IN SMALLER PORTION SIZES
Support HuffPost
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
At HuffPost, we believe that everyone needs high-quality journalism, but we understand that not everyone can afford to pay for expensive news subscriptions. That is why we are committed to providing deeply reported, carefully fact-checked news that is freely accessible to everyone.
Whether you come to HuffPost for updates on the 2024 presidential race, hard-hitting investigations into critical issues facing our country today, or trending stories that make you laugh, we appreciate you. The truth is, news costs money to produce, and we are proud that we have never put our stories behind an expensive paywall.
Would you join us to help keep our stories free for all? Your contribution of as little as $2 will go a long way.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circ*mstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you’ll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPost
Already contributed? Log in to hide these messages.
